This fall have been hectic, private and work wise. Before Italy things were pretty hectic at work. I took my escape in my creative process. I went to Italy and had the best week ever. Felt so inspired wanted to do so much. And yet here I am, feeling unable to create.
I have a history of being home sick due to to much stress in several parts of my life. Now I feel I´m going back in to that. I thought I had learned something, I thought I had things under control. As things piled up, when I saw the future projects contents being so much bigger then I first thought – I still felt it was ok. Told my self that I were to take one thing at a time, other things had to come second, simple as that. And then on Friday I crashed at work. I had been in meetings the whole week, being unable to do what I felt I needed to do. And one person came to my office at a break and spoke to me about a problem and I just couldn´t take it any more. I interrupted that person and said I hadn´t the time right now. And when I was alone, I cried. And from there I have tried to take it easy this weekend. I had big painting plans for two projects, but that have to wait. I cant paint now, I have no energy. At night I have been shaking, can´t relax, I feel I have been running a marathon, but I have done nothing.
I know what I need to do for my self right now. Take time to relax and reflect. Make that a priority. I know I´m not down i the deepest darkness yet, but I will be if I do not take action. So things will be more quiet around here I think. Hope you are still here when I have some extra energy.
I had plans to paint this face this weekend, but she will wait for me
I even grounded two pieces, but they too will wait.